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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29855373">beneath the moon (i'm not alone)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulmarionetter/pseuds/soulmarionetter'>soulmarionetter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A3! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A3! Big Bang, Character Study, Feelings Realization, Found Family, M/M, Minor Violence, Platonic Relationships, Relationship Study, Spoilers up to Magicians' Pure Love, implied TasuTsumu &amp; SakyoIzu, mankai ensemble</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:27:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29855373</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulmarionetter/pseuds/soulmarionetter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chikage comes to terms with love being just around the corner.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>MANKAI Company &amp; Utsuki Chikage, Mikage Hisoka/Utsuki Chikage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>A3! Big Bang 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>beneath the moon (i'm not alone)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>oof, this was a wild ride! i'd like to thank all the friends that cheered me on during the planning and actual writing process, my amazing beta yuq and, of course, my talented partner dita! go check them up!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's easy, how the pieces fall together. How <em> they </em> fall back together. Almost a given, as if it couldn't have been any different. Like the story couldn't be told without them both. Chikage hates the idea of destiny, that there are inevitable things that you can't do anything but accept into your life and move on with them, yet, December—<em>H</em><em>isoka</em>—has accepted all of it too readily. The notion makes dread stab Chikage like a sharp blade through the deepest part of his guts. </p><p>He hates it. He hates the simple way Hisoka curls into his lap and sleeps without a care in the world, like Chikage never extorted him or kidnapped their Director moons ago in poor thought and poorly attempted revenge. Rash and unfocused; very much unlike him. </p><p>They've talked about this before in that roundabout manner they have—<em>Hisoka's the only one he could talk to about this</em>—but even then, he's been fighting the feeling of being undeserving for a long time already. Much longer than his time in Mankai, when he started living as Chikage Utsuki rather than just a codename. It doesn't seem like it'll come to an end any time soon. </p><p>He has to physically stop himself from caressing the thick strands of Hisoka's messy hair</p><p>Instead, he settles on idly watching whatever program is passing on TV without really paying attention. He focuses on the small talk that always fills the shared dorm's background, along with Hisoka's soft breathing, and on how the man's head digs on his thighs. Chikage knows he'll hear about how his muscles are too hard to be comfortable, and he'll reply that he's not exactly a pillow so <em> of course </em> he's not going to be. And maybe, for a few seconds, he'll be able to forget about everything that happened between them, and how he almost destroyed one of the few people he's come to love. </p><p>Whatever "love" is. </p>
<hr/><p>“Don't ruin the mission,” April once said to December when he had been seventeen and pretty reckless himself. He didn't mean it, but he <em> was </em>petty enough to pretend he did. They trained together for years, got used to the same conditions, yet still worked so differently. He couldn't understand how the other functioned—off and on, either one hundred percent in or nothing at all. It frustrated him to no end. Perhaps the only thing he was completely sure of was that neither of them wanted to disappoint. </p><p>He liked to call that their only agreement because it was much easier to accept that neither of them wanted to be dead weight for August than bring himself to admit he trusted December to have their backs, relied on him, even. That he was (<em>still is) </em>one of the pillars holding April's own existence. </p><p>At the time, December didn't turn to look at him, didn't even bother to acknowledge his words, preferring to stay in his usual nap spot on their rattled couch, hunched all over himself and clearly onto something. The insistent sound of rustled plastic filled in the silence. August must've gotten him another bag of marshmallows, like he did the prior week, like he did <em> just the day before.  </em></p><p>“You shouldn't indulge him like this, he'll get spoiled,” he ended up saying to August. He had smiled at April while scrolling down his screen, filling it up with in a language April had yet to completely grasp onto. However, things like 'money' and 'target' were things he'd seen expressed in basically every jargon around the world, he didn’t need to be fluent. </p><p>“Heh, don't worry about that. I got something for you too.” No matter how many times April told August that he didn't have to spend more than what was absolutely necessary for him, every time, August was suddenly deaf. </p><p>It was a lost battle, but he didn't want to let go of the issue yet. Not just yet, regardless of the warmth that filled in his chest.</p>
<hr/><p>Things being the way they were—<em>are</em>, this theater is his first proper "home" in the terms most people would agree on to define one. It's a place to come back to and to belong in, filled to the brim with a waiting family, and has support and stability; a sheer normalcy he's never had the chance to experience before. One he never thought he'd be able to experience in this lifetime considering the circumstances in which he was born with, what raised him and made him what he is today.</p><p>He knows it's the same for the man currently digging on what looks as sickly sweet ice cream.</p><p>“Director got that for you during one of her shopping sprees?” He's seen that particular brand before and knows their shop is close to their favorite store to pick up spices. Maybe he's a bit irked that Izumi went there by herself without telling him; maybe it's because he <em> had </em>been eyeing the marshmallow flavor, and this ruined one well-conceived plan. </p><p>“Yes,” he mutters, his gaze not leaving the bucket. Chikage knows Hisoka can and will glomp it down in one sitting. Neither of them have to worry about stomachaches and such. Hisoka's had to eat much more dangerous stuff than a huge amount of ice cream, all without batting an eyelid to avoid looking suspicious. Playing nonchalant in the face of peril—that’s something Chikage still has to do, from time to time when charades turn too risky and the objective is smart enough to look past his plasticity. </p><p>A part of him whispers that this is for the best, that December is now Hisoka Mikage, that Hisoka's biggest worry, besides his perfectly safe job at his troupemate's bar and their next play, is getting enough sleep and not running out of sweets. Exactly what August wanted for him. </p><p>He purposely turns away from the fact August wanted that for the man called Chikage too.</p><p>When he lifts his gaze again, Hisoka's visible eye stares at him, slightly narrowed and most definitely aware of the shadow crossing through his mind. Hisoka knows, time and time again. He can almost hear the gears turning in his head and Chikage finds himself, once more, too vulnerable under the scrutiny. </p><p>“...Do you want some?” Hisoka's voice cuts through the tension like he used to do with flesh, always going directly for the kill using the unexpected. </p><p>“Fine.” He doesn't, but Chikage is <em> petty</em>, and the way Hisoka's face turns the slightest bit sour at his compliance is perhaps worth the cloying taste of sugar clinging on his tongue. </p><p>It's a different type of showdown, a much more innocent one than what they had been used to. <em> It's for the best. </em>Hisoka takes a small scope of his ice cream and Chikage's hand lifts to grab the spoon from him. </p><p>“It's too sweet, how can you like this?” </p><p>But then, Chikage is the one that tripped himself. Not worth it to cry over spilled milk. </p>
<hr/><p>“Chikage is thinking too hard.” </p><p>He has known it was <em> him </em> coming the moment he walked out of the dorms without saying anything. Hisoka still makes close to no sound whenever he walks, but Chikage is too used to hearing him come and go. His weight is slightly different now, taking the way his habits have switched, but those short, lazy steps that hide agility and balance from within his core are the same. </p><p>Also, there's no one else left in the world that can pry through his walls even if uninvited. </p><p>Mankai's garden is filled with life, even more so with spring just around the corner. He can see buds starting to properly flower on the bushes and hear the gentle rustle of leaves. Chikage has never had anything like it before and that's why, some days, he takes a moment to come around and breathe a different air. He's never been too fond of plants, and his life until this point has made it impossible for him to take care of even a single flower pot. Too busy, too chaotic. </p><p>“Is that what it looks like? There's nothing I'm especially concerned about right now.” He lies through his teeth, even though he knows it's most certainly useless against Hisoka. In his defense, what he's worrying about is nothing like the overwhelming threat of having to turn back one day if all heads south. Nothing like July or the fact there's still someone out there selling information to the highest bidder. Still, hiding is simpler,<em> natural </em> even <em> . </em> </p><p>On the other hand, love is...</p><p>Deep down, he knows that. Of course, love is something one shouldn't bother themselves trying to explain or find any semblance of reason within, but the thought's been floating inside his head far too long for his liking, crossing a few lines he's never been able—wanted to approach. It haunts him and he can’t run away. </p><p>For his part, Hisoka hums as if taking Chikage's words in consideration. But ultimately, this is something that's played out before, right? He pretends there’s nothing wrong until the issue explodes. It just can't be helped any other way. He knows it won’t bear fruit, they <em> both </em>know it won’t. Yet, Hisoka gives him space, lets him be, if only for a little bit longer, but Chikage is much too pressed to even feel grateful. </p><p>After all, it’s Hisoka’s mere presence that’s putting the idea inside his head. </p><p>“It's a full moon,” the other man says in that sleepy murmur Chikage used to begrudgingly miss during those nights when he had nothing but boiling, liquid hatred cursing him from the inside out and had nothing to direct it in full force. One of his hands moves to his collar, the place where he used to hide the pendant and the vial that contained no sweet-smelling poison. He didn’t need any more proof, a part of Chikage wanted to trust him. </p><p>Then, he couldn't pinpoint what he felt about December, and right now, there's no difference with what he feels for Hisoka Mikage.</p><p>The platinum shade falls upon them and Chikage looks at Hisoka for a moment too long. Beautiful, he's changed so much; it's both painful and inspiring. Chikage regrets what he did, but at the same time, a stupid part of him doesn't. It's what pulled them back together and subsequently, he's not lonely anymore. </p><p>He wills himself to look away. The first thing that catches his eye are Tsumugi's forget-me-nots, blue buttons mockingly dancing with the wind. Every day, they're one step closer to blooming. </p><p><em> True love</em>, they whisper to him, besides the obvious meaning they hold. </p><p>Chikage sighs. </p>
<hr/><p>“Rough day at work?” </p><p>Itaru's voice is dandy, like a child keeping a secret that only he and his friend share. It's fine with him, Chikage likes the fact he doesn't specify which one. Of all the people that are slightly aware of what he does outside Mankai's walls, Chigasaki is the one that's most accepting of it sans one Izumi Tachibana. He is willing to look away, as Chikage lets him keep the pleasantries inside the office. Their arrangement has served them well so far. He's made a point to keep that just how it is. </p><p>“Yes, you know how paperwork piles at this point in the year.” He puts his suitcase down, takes off his jacket and faces the wall in a subtle attempt to create space between each other. Itaru shouldn't concern himself with stuff he can't possibly begin to understand; they're too different. </p><p>“Yes,” Itaru says looking at his phone, fingers mechanically tapping on the screen. He's soft-spoken and casual, <em> aware</em>. The mere idea makes his head pang in a way that's anything but pleasant. “I would know.”</p><p>Chigasaki knows he can't <em> know </em> what's going on with him and accepts it, but Chikage can take a hint. There's a part of Itaru that doesn't want to let go as easily as he used to. His own fault, really. All the times he's meddled before are surely coming back to bite him right where it hurts the most. </p><p>He lies down, taking out his phone—<em>the one he uses to contact everyone that matters</em>—and opens a long unused but certainly not forgotten app. </p><p>Chigasaki's head turns so fast at the sound of the mobile game; Chikage is worried he's pulled on a muscle. He leans his head in the right angle to hide the slight curve of his lips. </p><p>“You said you were going to tell me how to level up Gawain.” He manages to keep it casual; this is as much as he's willing to give in right now. “Care to explain now?” </p><p>He braces himself for a long talk about Destiny*Grandiose Decree's game mechanics, but at least neither of them are sulking anymore. </p>
<hr/><p>Tenma is looking down at his homework with a complicated expression. This is not the first time Chikage's seen him glaring at the papers like they're somehow being offensive, but there's an edge to Sumeragi that he's never seen before. </p><p>“What subject is it?” His own schedule is mostly clear. It's been a while since they've gone through a tutoring session together. Tenma being in college has made him twice as busy as before. </p><p>“English,” he answers, his pencil swiftly scratching the words he had written before.  Chikage raises an eyebrow. Sure, Tenma is not a model student, but he's not bad either—he's not bright but he's earnest, hardworking, pours all of him into everything he does whether it's acting or not. The last time they studied together, Tenma was able to write down an essay with no problem whatsoever. </p><p>Tenma looks up and corrects his posture, properly acknowledging Chikage's presence with an embarrassed huff. He's a good kid, even someone like Chikage would like to help him succeed. </p><p>“It's not hard, I just gotta write down about someone I admire. I don't know who to choose, though.” </p><p><em>Someone you admire, huh? </em>He will agree that's one particularly tricky assignment. Chikage leans over the table, catches onto the discarded words—<em>father,</em> <em>mother—</em>and pretends he never saw them in the first place. </p><p>“Chikage-san, do you have someone you admire?” The question leaves Tenma's mouth with tentative precaution, as if he knows Chikage personally has trouble with the topic at hand. He considers his options. He can take the easy way out, name-drop someone famous enough it won't leave space for questions, or… </p><p>“I do,” he says, pouring himself a warm cup of the coffee Tsumugi was kind enough to brew earlier. He takes a sip; it's good, as always—smoky, pungent with the right amount of bitterness. “They're not around anymore, but they taught me most of the things I know. They always had my back through anything. Good stuff, bad stuff, you name it.” </p><p>If Hisoka could hear him, he would nod along. How they feel about August is one of the only things they agree on, but he'd also bother Chikage for being just a tad overemotional. It's unlike him, after all. </p><p>Tenma looks at him like he's discovering a whole new side of Chikage, and to be fair, he is. There's also something different glinting on those clear eyes of his—Tenma blinks, determination coloring his face. Chikage feels inspired just by being around him. </p><p>“Thank you, Chikage-san. I feel I can write this down.”</p><p>Chikage chuckles. </p><p>“Do your best.”</p><p>…</p><p>A few hours later, Chikage is back to take another cup of coffee. He still has trouble sleeping, even though he's doing considerably better than before. It's not the substance that works his insomnia. </p><p>No one's around, <em> it's late</em>, and everyone is either sleeping or out of the dorms for whatever reason they could have. He's no one to judge. </p><p>He doesn't expect to meet Tenma again that night. The other is fast asleep, the weight of his upper body above the table, face hidden in the crook of his forearm, hair sticking up in places they're not meant to be in. His face looks peaceful, like he's done a job well done before finally succumbing to the slumber. Knowing Sumeragi Tenma, that's exactly what must have happened. </p><p>Chikage lets him be and refills his cup. Really, his objective was to go on with his own thing, fight his own ghosts, but he doesn't want to leave Tenma like this. He moves closer, trying to wake him up so the boy can walk back to his room by himself, but then, reads his own name in Tenma's neat handwriting. </p><p>He doesn't believe himself to be worth admiring, yet, somehow, Tenma does. </p><p>A smile makes its way on his face before any other reflex kicks in. He settles on looking for Director or maybe Omi. They would handle the situation better than him. After all, Tenma will probably freak out if he knows Chikage is aware of what his essay turned out as.</p>
<hr/><p>Tsuzuru's eyebags look alarming, but his fingers still manage to slide over the keys with such a fast pace that even Chikage is left impressed. </p><p>“A close deadline?” Having so many university students around is refreshing. He's had to act the part before and actually assisted a few classes until the information they needed was compiled and the mission deemed complete. It was comparable to the Chikage Utsuki that worked in the stocks department of a random office for a company near central Tokyo. </p><p>One day he might have to leave that life behind, too. </p><p>“Yes, I didn't mean for it to get this bad, but two part time jobs are a little bit difficult to handle. I can't really leave either of them too…” Tsuzuru's voice is strained, obvious that he's long past his own limits. Everyone in Mankai knows that once he sets his mind onto something, he'll bulldoze until it's done, but none of them call that healthy. </p><p>But then, Chikage is most likely the least capable of reproaching such an attitude. Considering Tsuzuru's doing all this to support his family, it's a feeling he can empathize with. </p><p>“I'm going to the market nearby,” he announces, like it's not something he made up on the spot. “Do you want anything?” </p><p>Tsuzuru's crystalline eyes set on his figure for a moment before shaking his head and turning back to work. Chikage remembers that the exam period is close to the mid-year and it's hell on earth for people that have obligations other than textbooks. He won't take the dismissal to heart. </p><p>He makes his way to the store and buys a single energy drink. Not exactly healthy either, but most likely, what Tsuzuru needs besides a decent amount of food. That, he can count on Masumi to care for. </p><p>… </p><p>Tsuzuru blinks, startled. Dull green eyes focus on the single can sitting by his side. Chikage looks at his hands moving automatically with amusement. Tsuzuru's fingers pull the lid before taking it up, gulping what certainly seems to be a concerning amount. </p><p>“So a long night, then…Azami won't let this go, you know?” Chikage is sure he's already heard them have a rather uncomfortable exchange about how directly related skin care and a decent sleeping schedule are, and how Tsuzuru is doing terrible. </p><p>Tsuzuru looks at him with pleading eyes. </p><p>“It's fine, it's fine. I won't tell, but you should really try to rest tonight.” He compromises because his troupemate looks like he's going to fall asleep and smack his face against the wooden table any time soon. Even if he's seen just that happen from time to time, especially after finishing his scripts, there's something nagging in the back of Chikage's head, pushing him to try and do something. </p><p>Tsuzuru sighs, a smile spreading over his face before putting the energy drink aside.</p><p>“Thank you, Chikage-san.” </p><p><em> Huh</em>.</p><p>“There's no need for that.”</p><p>“No, I mean…” Tsuzuru looks a little bit embarrassed, an awkward chuckle leaving his lips without permission. “Thank you for always taking care of us, it's still a little weird for me, but I appreciate it. Thank you.”</p><p>So that's how it is. </p><p>“Hm, so, since I care…should I actually go look for Azami? Maybe Director too, she would force you to go and sleep.”</p><p>“Please don't!”</p><p>Tsuzuru is quite fun to tease, Chikage sort of understands why Itaru and Citron like to mess with him. Well, he deserves it. For calling him out like that without warning.</p>
<hr/><p>It's difficult not to notice there's something between Tasuku and Tsumugi. </p><p>Chikage is not exactly a fan of observing them flutter around each other. He likes them both just fine, but the way they walk around in circles, ignoring the elephant in the room is a little bit too much—hits a little bit too close home—for his liking. </p><p>“You mean it's always been like this when it comes to them?” he asks Hisoka on one of his rare free nights. Tsumugi's been mindlessly stirring his drink until the ice has completely melted down while listening to Tasuku's careful dissection of the most recent play they've seen together. It's like there's no one else currently in the living room with them, and it is just an inch away from making him want to leave the vicinity and give them the space they need. </p><p>Hisoka's gaze changes focus. Chikage is certain he's already too used to their antics. He barely blinks at them, popping one extra marshmallow in his mouth from the newly opened package. Homare really spoils him even more than August once did. Now, it's as if Hisoka is unable to function without the extra sugar. </p><p>“Not exactly.” The answer doesn't come from Hisoka, and Chikage has to turn around to notice Azuma standing right behind him. He's grown too lax around Mankai; he didn't even notice the moment he entered the scene. </p><p>“Tsumugi was quite afraid of confronting Tasuku at first and...Tasuku felt the same.” Azuma chuckles, likely replaying the distant memory. “As similar as they are, they also hold major differences, and that made a huge misunderstanding. It all worked out in the end, though, that's why us Winter Troupe could become closer.”</p><p>Chikage has a hard time imagining them at odds with each other, but then, they probably never thought they could reach such a low point either. </p><p>“Tasuku and Tsumugi live in their own world, everyone else needs an invitation,” Hisoka finally mutters. Of course, not really a secret to anyone in the whole company. Still, his words make Azuma smile even wider, fondness twinkling in his eyes. </p><p>“Yes, but they are cute, aren't they?” </p><p>“Sort of.” </p><p>Chikage guesses he can see it—how Azuma would deem them cute, of all things. Hisoka acknowledges the claim with a nod before his eyelids start to fall down. Typical sleepy head.</p><p>Azuma sighs, taking the chair next to Chikage's own and directly facing Hisoka's. </p><p>“It's because they've known each other for so long. They've seen the best and the worst from one another,” he says. Chikage is not surprised to see he's the most invested one in this particular relationship. After all, as secretive as Azuma is, he's not shy to meddle when he feels it's necessary. “I did tell Tsumugi that they held the same love, but well, they'll have to discover it eventually.”</p><p>He wants to open his mouth and say it's not about the time, because no matter how much you think you have, it feels like it's never enough. Nevermind how much you feel like you know each other, there's still the anxiety of everything going wrong, of tipping the scales and messing the balance you worked so hard to achieve. Yet, that would mean showing a part of himself he doesn't want to accept even within his own consciousness. </p><p>Steel gray turns to Hisoka, and he's confused to find him not only awake but also evidently holding his tongue about something. </p><p>If Azuma notices, he doesn't tell. But the knowing smile on his face unsettles him enough to change the subject. The matter passes, but the discomfort lingers.</p>
<hr/><p>Masumi’s expression remains cool as his eyes go through the script for the tenth time this evening. Both of them are already familiar with the setting and their lines, yet, the final day is always the hardest to overcome. They have not only the public’s expectations to fulfill, but their own. They’ve become <em>greedy</em> and won't settle for less than a standing ovation. Director nods in approval as they finish their rendition. Her assured smile is enough to make both of them feel something akin to accomplishment.</p><p>“Masumi-kun, Chikage-san, you should head to bed already. Rest for tomorrow.” Her excitement is obvious in her body language. Months have passed, but Izumi has changed very little from the moment Chikage first met her. A true theater fool, through-and-through.</p><p>It’s strange when Masumi just nods instead of falling back into his habit of praising her. Certainly, there’s not much to openly compliment right now—Izumi’s hair is tied back, a few loose strands fall down the sides of her face, her clothes rumpled after going up and down, taking care of the last few details before Mankai opens its doors for the grand finale—but that’s never been a problem before, not for someone like him. </p><p>Izumi blinks, maybe even <em> expecting </em>Masumi to say more before she shakes her head as if to vanish the thought.   </p><p>“Good. I’ll see you in the morning! Have a good night,” she says, letting her hair go in a smooth motion that Masumi’s eyes follow. Chikage has grown accustomed to his usual yearning, but this is somewhat different to the usual look on his face at the sight of Director. He’s pensive. Chikage wonders if that talk with Kasumi did him more harm than good. </p><p>After all, Masumi’s love for Izumi is pure but not exactly fruitful.</p><p>The walk towards their respective rooms is quiet, a comfortable silence that he appreciates every now and then. It’s almost a shame that he decides to break it.</p><p>“Everything okay?” He doesn’t know what compels him to ask that particular question. The moment Masumi’s purple eyes settle on his own, he understands that maybe he didn’t have to.</p><p>“Yes.” <em> Of course </em>, there’s still a bridge between them when it comes to this particular subject. </p><p>“You’re going to talk to her?” </p><p>“I’ll do it, I’m serious.” </p><p>Chikage sighs, defeated, but his lips curl upwards. </p><p>“I know you are.” </p><p>Itaru didn’t know what he was talking about before, there’s just no way Chikage can properly understand Masumi. Not about this, their experiences are too different. He doubts that he’ll ever approach his own love with such courage, even knowing it’s never getting anywhere. </p>
<hr/><p>Boundaries become blurred once you've lived enough time around the same people. A while ago, he managed to fool himself into believing he would never become attached to this building and all the different faces that flock inside its walls. Now, he's celebrating the success of Spring Troupe's latest play and listening to Sakyo's backhanded praise. </p><p>“You've grown as an actor, Utsuki,” he comments, after downing the last bits of what looked to be whisky on the rocks. A bold choice, if Chikage says so himself. He's not surprised Sakyo is the one to pull it off. “Just don't let it get to your head, it wouldn't make a difference if you're not open to constantly improving yourself.”</p><p>Chikage smiles, lips curling against the rim of his own half-empty glass. He's certainly proud of his own accomplishments, but not so much to believe himself the best even within the extension of Mankai Company, much less Veludo Way. He takes Sakyo's words with a grain of salt, no use to dwell on them when he can read in between the lines. This is his way to push him forward, isn't it? Fitting for someone that's always been silently looking out for all of them from the very beginning. Not honest at all, Chikage can see how happy he is beneath the cover. </p><p>“Thank you.” He accepts it. Out of all of them, he knows Sakyo's likely the one that cares about Mankai the most. Chikage is not going to be the one to let him down on this. </p><p>“Sakyo-san, Chikage-san! It's rare to see you two hanging around, I thought you'd be with your own troupes?” Izumi's voice rings, curious. Her tone is just the slightest bit slurred, and the flush on her face gives her away entirely. Their director's clearly been drinking a tad too heavily for someone of her build again. “Are you having a good time?” </p><p>She's so cheerful, though. Chikage chuckles, perhaps he's letting himself be swayed by her and the lively aura surrounding them. From the corner of his eye, he can see Kazunari pulling Masumi closer to Omi's camera so they can take a commemorative picture for the party with the most recent main lead up front. Taichi is giving them a thumbs-up. </p><p>“You're drunk,” Sakyo deadpans, voice dry and almost to be missed considering the multitude talking at the same time in the background. Izumi catches it anyways, her bright gaze shifting to finally settle on his scowl. She is shameless enough to giggle, Chikage is proud to call her his director. </p><p>“Not that much!” Swiftly, her eyes land on his own now; her expression glows with so much pride that he can't stop the rush of affection that runs from his chest. “And still, we're celebrating. Both Masumi-kun and Chikage-san did their best.” </p><p>Sakyo doesn't look convinced yet, but sighs in admission.</p><p>“That they did.” </p><p>Izumi claps her hands, rejoicing, and just for a split second, Sakyo's expression melts into a smile that mirrors hers. It feels more intimate than it probably should be, but then, he's aware of the tension that's been progressively building between them. Chikage takes it as his cue to excuse himself:</p><p>“I'll go for another drink, do you want any?” </p><p>Izumi is about to say something, but Sakyo shakes in denial. </p><p>“I don't, and you shouldn't be drinking anymore either.” Izumi huffs, apparently knowing he's right doesn't make it any less frustrating. </p><p>“Maybe Director should go outside for a moment so she can rejoin the party later on?” he suggests, smooth and reasonable enough for Sakyo to take into account. Either way, it's probably Izumi's defeated expression that makes him reconsider the idea. </p><p>“That might work,” he complies with a sigh before sharp eyes move towards Izumi's swaying figure. “Let's go.” </p><p>“Ah, Sakyo-san is coming with me then?” </p><p>“I want fresh air, too.” </p><p>They turn towards the exit, heading for the dorms' terrace. Izumi's steps falter, but Sakyo moves quickly to help her. He's mindful, a steady hand set on her back as he opens the back door. Chikage can see Izumi's lips curling into another smile, before muttering what's most likely a sort of flustered 'thank you'. Sakyo doesn't answer, and his hold on her doesn't move either. She leans on him, conscious or not, Chikage can't tell, before they finally move outside of his vision range. </p><p>For appearance's sake, he does look for another drink before sitting down at the same corner he was in at the beginning. He wonders how those two are doing out there, but he's quite sure nothing would happen beyond the ordinary. They have history, Sakyo and Izumi. He is aware of how delicate their situation is, going from way back and ending up meeting by chance, as if it was meant to be like<em> this </em>. He's obvious about his feelings, her, not so much—but if Chikage had to bet on something, it was that they could make it happen if only they didn't push so much of Mankai's weight above their shoulders. </p><p>People with such a gentle love story should be able to take a chance at happiness. </p>
<hr/><p>“I have to thank you, you know.” </p><p>Hisoka's eyes open slowly and Chikage can almost see how his brain turns, trying to make sense of the situation at hand, even with the daze of sleep clouding his thoughts. He looks groggy, but he knows the other is recapitulating. When it finally hits—he yawns, his head burying on its place against Chikage's shoulder like a lazy cat. </p><p>“Not necessary,” he says, his relaxed breathing a dead giveaway of his intentions to go back to sleep. <em> Really, now… </em></p><p>“I wouldn't have been able to cross the bridge with Masumi if I didn't have that one talk with you before, thank you.” </p><p>Hisoka chuckles, the sound is not as annoying as Chikage pretends it is. </p><p>“Chikage is really bad with emotions.” <em> Yes, he is. </em>That's something they have previously stated. “But that just means he has to get better.”</p><p>Chikage snorts, pressing his back against the wooden bench, turning his gaze away from Hisoka's face to give himself the leverage to speak out. </p><p>“You say that as if it's something easy to do. I've always been like this, I think it's fair to say that won't be changing any time soon.” </p><p>His words are followed by silence and he makes the mistake to believe the matter has been settled for tonight. His gaze shifts from the starry sky to Hisoka again as if pulled by a magnet, and his breath catches up inside of his throat, twisting into an impossibly tight knot. Hisoka's bangs are a mess, but that allows Chikage to see the golden glint of his usually covered eye. It takes Chikage back in time, reminding him there is still a constant in his life, even though everything took a turn upside-down that night two years ago. December, Hisoka, and the moon as their witness. </p><p>“There is love inside of you,” Hisoka says, as if those words hadn't been messing up Chikage’s head for the last few weeks. He knows there’s truth behind it, he’s afraid of how much that can cost him. “And that's enough.”</p><p>But it isn't. It cannot be enough, it <em> can't </em>.</p><p>He’s still not ready to commit. The knowledge burns, acidic, corroding him from the inside out. </p><p>“If you say so.” It’s the only answer Chikage’s able to give and it sickens him so. Hisoka nods, like he never expected anything else. A traitorous part of him shudders at the possibility that the other might figure out what he’s hiding behind his mask. As much as Hisoka understands Chikage, this is still his one, single zealous secret no one can be privy of. Especially him.</p>
<hr/><p>Kumon's energetic frenzy is directly proportional to how bad he's been doing in math lately. </p><p>“Sorry to bother you.” Juza's voice is rough, but Chikage is aware of the anxiety that hides behind that deep baritone. Is he feeling guilty because he can't really help Kumon as much as he'd like to? </p><p>“It's not a problem for me,” he's quick to say, and Juza's shoulders drop, posture relaxing under his attentive gaze. That's good. “But I think Chigasaki is a much better teacher than me when it comes to numbers. He helped you before, right?” </p><p>“Tenma-san said you were great with every subject!” <em> Oh </em>, if Tenma heard that, he might pass out just to save himself the embarrassment of having to either confirm or deny that claim. Still, it brings a smile to Chikage's face. </p><p>“I hope I can be of help, then.”</p><p>…</p><p>“Here, we know the adjacent area already. We need to figure out the opposite.” He moves the pencil, as if to highlight the center of the problem. Kumon's eyebrows are drawn together, but paying attention to every word Chikage says. It's sort of endearing. </p><p>“What is the first step you need to take to solve this?” </p><p>“Eh, substitute the values?” Both, his voice and expression, betray his uncertainty in the matter. But he's a good listener, and much like his older brother, Kumon is the type to reach well-deserved success after investing himself in hard work. </p><p>“Good. Then, if the angle is 64° and the adjacent is 7,5 centimeters, how do you write that down?” He passes the pencil to Kumon, who grips it tightly before scribbling the values on the paper. Once he stops, he immediately looks up to Chikage's face, wondering if he got it right. He cheers when Chikage nods his approval. </p><p>“You already know how it follows, it's the same formula you already know.”</p><p>Kumon laughs whole-heartedly and his happiness is the most contagious in the entirety of Mankai Company. Chikage is not sure when he started to smile, just that he's currently doing so while Kumon stretches in his position sitting in front of his desk. </p><p>“Thank you, Chikage-san! I was really nervous over all this new content! School is hard, but I have to keep it up, right? If I had to take supplementary classes, then I might have to miss practice and I don't want that!” Right, Summer Troupe's play is already in the making. Kumon's determined eyes make him not want to lose to them, all in healthy competition between troupes—is Autumn Troupe's fire starting to get to him? Seems like it. </p><p>“Don't worry about it, if you have any more questions you can just tell me.” He would be lying if he said he didn't want to support them. Chikage has definitely softened around the edges, at the very least, when it comes to his younger troupemates. </p><p>At that moment, the door opens without a prior knock. Misumi's curious expression lightens up in understanding when he takes a glance at the notes on top of the desk. </p><p>“Ah, triangles!” Chikage admires how sharp his eyes can be, considering they are sitting quite far away from the doorstep. </p><p>“Kumon needed help with Trigonometry.” Misumi looks very interested that he's almost glowing, steps light as he cuts distance across the room.</p><p>Once Misumi is right beside them, he takes the pencil out of Kumon's hand. His face turns into a thoughtful frown as he examines one sheet full of exercises. They're the most difficult of the lot, Chikage is well aware that Misumi already graduated high school and has definitely seen this before, but even he might have some troubles with—</p><p>“Ah, it's 54,7!”</p><p>“Really?! You didn't even write down the equation!” Kumon's eyes are wide open, and well, his own too. </p><p>Just to be sure, Chikage solves the problem and…Misumi is actually correct. Nevermind how he did it, he got it right with just a glance. </p><p>Gray eyes turn to bright orange, but unsurprisingly, he can't read him at all. Misumi gives them a toothy grin before his sing-song voice claims he's always on point when it comes to triangles. Really, someone like this is to be feared. Chikage's glad Misumi is as menacing as a fly. </p>
<hr/><p>Maybe he should’ve said no when one of his coworkers asked for his help with documents. Turns out, not only were the numbers written down incorrect, they also had to be sorted all over again or else they would be facing a major problem. </p><p>Technically, it is not going to be his fault, but Chikage has built his work persona perfectly, and there’s a number of reasons as to why he’d like to maintain a good relationship with the people he has to share his workspace with. The main one is having free access to all of the transactions done by their company without anyone blinking an eye, after all, he’s always been<em> helpful </em>and <em>well-intended. </em></p><p>He checks his wristwatch once he finally makes his way to Mankai’s dorms threshold; almost ten o’clock in the evening. Could be later, extra hours mean he’ll be getting a little extra in his paycheck this month. He’s just happy there’s nothing urgent that he has to take care of. Nothing <em> work </em> related.</p><p>The living room looks empty for a Friday night. Kazunari greets him loudly from his place at the table, Muku quickly follows with a mutter and a shy nod, and Sakyo grunts as if he’s interrupted something extremely important. </p><p>“Shoujo manga?” he guesses from the covers and the way Muku’s fingers hold the books with reverence. </p><p>“Yep, yep! Does Chika-chon wanna join? Mukkun was just getting to the best part!” Kazunari says, vibrating with an energy that Chikage can’t help but admire. </p><p>“Sorry, I’m not good with love stories.” </p><p>“Romance may be a critical point of this story, but the plot goes beyond that…” Muku says, a flash of passion going through his eyes. He’s clearly invested in telling the story from beginning to end, there’s not many times someone can see such a decided edge on him, Chikage feels almost sorry for his denial. “B-But it’s okay if Chikage-san has other things in mind! It’s late, too…”</p><p>
  <em> Scratch “almost”. </em>
</p><p>“...Maybe you can talk to me about it some other day.” Muku’s excited smile makes it worth compromising. </p><p>His steps feel lighter, once he starts making his way to his shared room.</p><p>...</p><p>“Ah, shit! He fucking double hit me!” </p><p>“Itaru, you had to accept the portal and then go in for the rescue!”</p><p>“He was going to hit <em> you </em>if I accepted that.” </p><p>“It’s straterly!”</p><p>“Strategy.<em> ” </em></p><p>The scene currently greeting him is anything but unusual. Itaru and Citron don't lift their gazes from their screens. Itaru’s fingers are recklessly trampled over the keyboard and he groans when whatever it is he is doing doesn't work as intended. </p><p>“At least Perfumer got away, she better find a syringe and actually <em> help </em> us, or else I’m gonna take her ass back to the hunter with the last tidbit of lasso I have.”</p><p>“Don’t die, Itaru! The machine is primed!” <em> Primed? </em></p><p>“Really, now? Then Mercenary better come here soon, I’ll kite this bastard until he runs out of detention if I have to...”</p><p>Chikage doesn't understand the specific terminology, but whatever they are playing this time does look intense. Sooner rather than later, their match is over. Itaru sighs heavily, gaze boring into his computer and the numbers displayed underneath every player’s character.</p><p>“Citron, please remind me to not use Cowboy when matching with randoms?” Itaru groans, a hand reaching for his own forehead as if just thinking about the last few minutes is stressful. </p><p>“Sure!”</p><p>Then, both of them turn to Chikage in a single motion.</p><p>“Senpai, good night.” His voice starts to regain its usual lax tone and Chikage thinks it’s never going to grow old, the gap between Itaru and Taruchi. </p><p>“Hello, Chikage!” Citron is cheerful. Chikage is glad to know that at the very least, he doesn’t have to deal with<em> two </em>moody gamers. </p><p>“Actually, we’re about to leave. Promised Banri we were going to rank together and Juza is back home with Kumon for their mom’s birthday. We’re staying with him so you have the room all for yourself tonight.” </p><p>“Sounds nice.” He might as well take his time to try to properly rest. Chikage is sure his mind will make him dwell on anything but pleasant thoughts, yet, he’s sure can deal with himself. He’s always had to, after all. </p><p>“Doesn’t it? Well, we’re out, it’s been a while since I played on mobile, but I can do a trick or two.” Itaru stands up and stretches, his movements dripping with lethargy. How long have they been playing? Does Chikage really want to know? “You coming, Citron?” </p><p>“Yes! Go ahead, I’ll jolt you!” Citron’s hands reach for his phone before he stands up with a much better disposition to actually walk <em> out. </em>Though, Chikage can see there’s something about the way he’s holding himself. He has a plan of some sort, and call it a gut feeling, but Chikage has certainty that it’s going to end up messy. </p><p>“Join. Okay, bye bye.” Itaru walks out without looking back while Citron’s sharp gaze bores into his own with a knowing quality that makes Chikage’s most refined senses stand in alert. He’s not going to like this conversation, but then, that’s how life goes sometimes. </p><p>“Chikage, you’re hiding something.” It doesn’t sound like an accusation, if anything, Citron’s voice sounds worried. He has an idea of what’s going to pop out here, and he doesn’t want to talk about it. Not <em> yet.  </em></p><p>“We all have our secrets, yes.” He produces a feint. For one, he admits there’s <em> something </em> going on, but makes it clear that it’s not a thing <em> Citron </em>has to involve himself with. </p><p>“I’m not going to tell you what to do.” Chikage appreciates it, appreciates the fact that Citron is perhaps one of the only people in the whole extension of Mankai that can, somewhat, understand why he chooses to express himself the way he does, live how he does. “But you have to say something, eventually. Or it’s going to reach a point of no return.” </p><p>
  <em> He’s aware, yet— </em>
</p><p>“I was lucky to have all of you, thanks to Mankai I can live without regret.” </p><p>Citron’s expression is solemn, as if he’s remembering the weight of the crown, a whole country, and the fact that he once failed to properly convey his own feelings towards the people he loves the most. Chikage entertains the idea that they’re not <em> that </em>different, that there’s common ground they can walk in. </p><p>“I just want to repay that kindness.” </p><p>It’s not a part of his plan, there’s still one too many strings that hold him back, but he’s not going to take Citron’s words for granted. </p><p>“You have nothing to worry about.” It’s the only answer Chikage can give, for now. “I’ll deal with it.” </p><p>For better or for worse, even Chikage knows he can’t keep something like this bottled up forever, as much as he wants to. That vague promise seems to be enough for Citron, his body language changes and the tension all but melt from his body. There’s still a rich grandeur on his stance, but that’s only natural for someone raised to be a king. </p><p>“Good!” His voice resounds against the thin walls of Itaru and Chikage’s room. With Citron back to his antics, it’s almost like their entire previous conversation didn’t happen, “Now I’ll go, or Itaru is going to slip out!” </p><p>“Flip. And yes, as far as I could see he’s incredibly serious about his placement in that game. You’ll have to run.” </p><p>“I have to run!” And just like a breeze, Citron is gone into what looks like his personal battlefield. </p><p>Now, it’s only Chikage and his own personal demons. </p><p>
  <em> You have to say something, eventually. Or it’s going to reach a point of no return. </em>
</p><p>He knows his troupemate is right, Chikage <em> is </em> stretching the issue. He's reaching his own limits if someone else is able to see through him so easily, even if that someone is as perceptive as Citron. </p><p>He sits on his bed, considering for once and for all that perhaps he has to let this go.</p>
<hr/><p>Chikage has to recognize that, when push comes to shove, Sakuya is the one that always successfully manages to make him come through. The thing is, he doesn't even try to. </p><p>Sakuya sighs the moment his body falls down over the couch, backpack and all, a happy smile grazing his soft features. He looks tired, but fulfilled in a way vaguely reminiscent of whenever Spring Troupe is done with rehearsal and everything's going just the way it's meant to. Rewarding, even wistful for more. </p><p>He takes his eyes off Agatha Christie's novel, the bookmark signaling the exact passage where he left off. The unfulfilled case can wait, he already knows the ending. </p><p>“Looks like you had a nice day.” </p><p>Sakuya's bright eyes open before he corrects his posture. A sheepish chuckle making its way through his lips, one of his hands gripping his bag's handle. </p><p>“My boss said I'm doing great lately.” His tone rings with underlying pride and that's good, he deserves the recognition. Chikage bears witness to how deeply Sakuya involves himself, he's careful and unyielding. A hard worker. </p><p>“Really? That sounds promising, you're making yourself a cozy spot in the staff.” </p><p>“You think so, Chikage-san? I hope I can stay working there for a long time!” He's glowing, Chikage might have to look away if just for a moment. Can anyone blame him for being momentarily dazzled? </p><p>He nods with a smile of his own. In that moment, Sakuya seems to finally take notice of the lone book that's sitting beside him. </p><p>“Ah, did I interrupt you? I can leave if you'd prefer me to!” </p><p>“No, don't. I've read this book before, let's say Scarlet Mirror revived a certain interest of mine.” The hard cover of <em> The Murder of Roger Ackroyd </em> seems to stare right back at him. </p><p>“Oh, I didn't know Chikage-san liked detective fiction this much…” Sakuya's eyes glint with curiosity. “Should we ask Tsuzuru to take it into account?” </p><p>“Maybe so. I can play Sheppard if I must.” That type of character suited him, anyways. </p><p>But Sakuya shakes his head, his smile growing impossibly wider </p><p>“I think Chikage-san should act as Poirot.” </p><p>
  <em> Him?  </em>
</p><p>“Poirot? That's a strange choice, Sakuya. Care to share why?” He's honestly curious, not to say he <em> couldn't </em>act as the renowned detective, but that's certainly out of his comfort zone. Sakuya, though, looks like he already has an idea that he'd like to see coming into reality. </p><p>“You always look like you're one step ahead! You take things into account that we might have missed, and then it turns out they were important all along…And maybe I'd like to see you play a hero again, but that's just me being a little selfish.” Sakuya chuckles, his hands playing with each other as he gives out his reasoning. </p><p>A hero. He's anything but. Not when he hides his own reality behind as many layers as he does. But he'll go with it, if only to make Sakuya happy.</p><p>“If I'm Poirot, then you'll play Sheppard?” </p><p>“Yes! I believe that you'll uncover the truth of this mystery, Chikage-san!” Sakuya's toothy grin makes it worth it, even if his words are hitting close, too close. “We all trust you, you can do it.”</p><p><em> Bullseye </em>.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em> August’s face is the same as always, wearing a foolish smile and cheeky gaze. Soft curls falling over his forehead and barely reaching for the back of his neck. He's just as Chikage remembers, not like he could ever forget.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “April, it’s been a while.” His voice is gentle as he seizes Chikage up. Whatever August sees, he seems to find it acceptable; eyes crinkling, but that soon shifts, as if something slips into his mind. Chikage notices the way his body tenses.  “You’re still in the organization?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I have to.” And he doesn’t plan on leaving, not yet.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> August sighs. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You have to.” He echoes his words back with no enthusiasm. Chikage knows that, if it were up to August, he would like Chikage to leave such a wretched place. Leave everything behind, forget about it and live his life without the pressure that, someday, things might backfire on him just like they did before.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Someone has to protect them.” This is a dream, Chikage knows that much, and so, he can be honest. Completely honest. He’ll run to hell and back for his family, all of them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “And who is going to protect you?” The question stings. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Pfft, I can take care of myself. You know what, right?” But he answers without any hint of hesitation.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What about December?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Chikage shakes his head.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “He doesn’t belong there anymore, he has to live as Mikage Hisoka alone.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> August’s eyes bore into his own, concern dripping out of them and pulling Chikage in. It makes him both relaxed and uneasy. It’s a weird mix, but he’s used to being unable to sort out his feelings when they start to clash. </em>
</p><p><em> “Wouldn’t you rather live only as Chikage Utsuki too?” He understands the meaning behind that question. Don’t push Hisoka away, don’t make it harder for yourself and most important of all: </em> be happy.</p><p>
  <em> He doesn’t have time to answer, though.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s time to wake up and face reality. </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>“I met August.” </p><p>He starts the conversation casual enough. It’s been a long afternoon of etude after etude, the sun’s already falling down the colorful buildings of Veludo Way. People coming and going, all of them involved in their own issues, paying little to no attention to the man in glasses walking with someone else lazily following a few steps behind.</p><p>“You dreamed about him too?” Hisoka understands, after all, August was—is—their precious family, someone that’s always being with them in heart and soul. “What did you talk about?”</p><p>“The organization, me still being involved.” He doesn’t feel the need to hide that from Hisoka. The man accepts his answer with not much more than a blink, and ultimately, doesn’t say anything. Chikage knows that Hisoka understands why he’s reluctant to leave, but he’s very much on August’s side on this particular discussion. Hisoka wants him to leave it behind too, make something new born out of the ashes from the past. </p><p>“His only wish was a happy family.” The conversation shifts. Chikage is reminded of August’s messy handwriting on a candy wrapper; Hisoka might still have it, carefully saved as a memento. It's the only thing they’ve got left of him, something out of the organization’s radar.</p><p>“Are you happy?” The question floats, and he thinks that maybe Hisoka won’t answer. He takes his sweet time as the sun falls over their heads and the sky changes its colours so it can welcome the night. The time of the day they find comfort in. </p><p>“I think I am.” Hisoka’s voice is a delicate whisper. They’ve never gone in this particular tangent before, but hearing it from Hisoka himself makes Chikage's heart swell with relish. He’s happy, even after all they’ve gone through, and he’s not surprised to find himself being happy on his accord, “What about Chikage? Are you happy?”</p><p>
  <em> Yes. </em>
</p><p>“I’m fine, this time I can take care of my family. And I got you back.” The rush gives him the bravado to spill words he’s been longing to communicate. “I’ll not let you out of my sight again.” </p><p>Hisoka’s eyes turn to him and, not for the first time, Chikage thinks he can understand him as much as he can’t possibly say what’s going on inside that sleepy head. </p><p>“Chikage.” </p><p>“What is it?” </p><p>Hisoka’s thin fingers wrap around the collar of his shirt in a flash, it’s so fast he’s caught completely unaware. Pulling him down is no big deal even if Hisoka's strength is nothing compared to what December could do. He’s vaguely reminded of older times, good times, when they would squabble and turn to fists. He’s, perhaps, much too used to Hisoka’s hands on him. </p><p>Not his lips, though. Never his lips. </p><p>He finds they’re slightly chapped, and too sweet from indulging in so many marshmallows but they feel perfect over his own. He doesn’t know what to do, he’s numb and bewildered and so, <em> so in love, </em>he can’t fit all that in his chest. </p><p>The contact is not much more than a peck, Hisoka lets him go soon and keeps on walking like nothing ever happened. Chikage is quick to follow. </p><p>“Would it bother you to say <em> something </em> before pulling that card out?” It’s nothing like he’d imagined, not as if he let himself consider the possibilities before. His face is flushed, and the orange glow, the last remnants of sunlight, don’t make it any easier for him. </p><p>Hisoka shrugs, but he’s smiling. One of his hands goes to mess with his hair and for a single second he can see not only the light green, but the golden.  </p><p>“Not sorry.” He says and Chikage itches for <em> payback, </em>and now it’s okay to think that he has time to get it. </p><p>They have time, and it feels only natural to keep walking together. </p>
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